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Jill was on CNN talking to Tony Harris about her new movie Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married Too and shared her thoughts on her controversial recent Essence column talking about interracial dating. Here’s a snippet:
My new friend is handsome, African-American, intelligent and seemingly wealthy. He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman. I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped. But something in me just knew he didn’t marry a sister. Although my guess hit the mark, when my friend told me his wife was indeed Caucasian, I felt my spirit…wince. I didn’t immediately understand it. My face read happy for you. My body showed no reaction to my inner pinch, but the sting was there, quiet like a mosquito under a summer dress.
In the interview above Jill says she thinks interracial dating is mainly a real problem America because of the country’s history and doesn’t seem to be as much of an issue abroad.
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I don’t see how her story on inter-racial dating is contriverisal people have been dating cross racial lines for a very long time now it’s nothing new.
why is she bringing this up? in a country so divided by race we were able to look beyond what society defines us as and elect a black and white president. i’m not crazy enough to assume that we are all now on an equal playing field but i honestly do not believe the “burn” that jill scott feels when she sees a black and white couple is universally felt. i for one don’t feel a burn but pride that a country who once thought interracial dating was a criminal offense now accepts that love does not discriminate because of the color of skin.
I don’t know if you’re black or white or where you are from, but where I am from its hard to find a black man that is on top of his game. Educated. Has a job. Could take care of himself and me if need be. Would be a great father. Has respect for women and does not call them out of there name or treat them like trash. The list could go on.
So when you do finally see a black man that has those qualities and is not the stereotype that is on tv and in my neighborhood and you see he is married to a white woman then it starts to hurt you a bit. Like you have been betrayed by the same black men that were raised by their black mothers and have had a black woman stand by them throughout history.
She is bringing it up because many black women feel this way. I have no problem with interracial dating. Love is love. It may not be universally felt among all American black women, but it is definitely felt by many. I feel it and I know many of my friends do and we all grew up in different types of neighborhoods and different schools with different ratios of whites, black, hispanics, etc.
Its also hard knowing the history where black women have stood by their men and have done much of the work in civil rights history that they aren’t given credit for (men were usually just the spokesperson while the woman was doing all the work) so for those same men (different generation) to go out with “the enemy” (the people who brought us down in the first place and continue to through education, healthcare, no wealth, etc) it does tend to sting. And as Jill said you show on your face that that is nice, but you are feeling a different way inside.
Every African except two that are on my college campus goes out with a white girl. They do not go with any of the other african or african american women. It behooves me.
love is love then you go on to say when black men go out with white women they are going out with the enemy? man get your life together. love is love. leave it as that. if a man decides to date other races its not a shun to his own its a testimony that love can transcend race, color or ethnicity. and thats a beautiful thing. i’m sorry you cant really get that.
oh you can def check out this link: http://jaipure.blogspot.com/ to find out if im white, black or whatever. enjoy your day lol.
I agree that love is love. It happens. I believe that a man can love a man and a woman can love a woman. That someone with a different skin tone can love another person with a different skin tone. I am just telling you what comes to some people’s minds when they see a black man and a white woman. And looking at your blog I cannot tell what color you are.
It also depends on where you are raised, how your parents think about the situation and many other things on how you take in seeing black woman and men date. I personally believe that to end racism that all individual races will have to die out and that mixed breeding will push forward equality in terms of race. But then wealth and class will become the leading problem (though some may consider it to be the leading problem now) instead of race.
I don’t see a problem with it. I just wonder why? Why did you decided to not date a black female instead of a white female? Because you before you start falling in love you gotta meet, (possibly date), and know the person. You chose who you fall in love with. love is not just something that happens (don’t get me wrong, some feelings take over a person and you can’t explain them and if you wanted to change them it would be beyond hard and sometimes feel impossible), but you choose to date the white woman or other race. More than likely you don’t just see the white girl and fall in love. That is my point.
and its a wonderful point. i just believe we dont choose who we love. its a psychological connection that cannot be explained but we choose the word love to describe it. and since its a connection the color of someones skin shouldnt matter. if you really believe (as you wrote below) that race is just a construct created by americans to justify slavery and other things then shouldnt we try to push forward from the illusion of race? as someone else wrote on this page: we are moving into a time where people are judged by their character not their color. i know its hard but it’ll get easier if we stop taking things personal. one persons love for someone else does not mean disdain for others.
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I am a black man, & most of the black men that I know are doing their thing career wise, all have college diplomas, NO kids, & are just pretty much living life at their respectful ages. So what I am saying is that, yes there are a # of black men that are NOT doing their thing, but at the same time, there are ALOT who are. Whoever they decide to date or marry is on THEM. My mother could care less if my future wife was Black, Latina, Arabian, Chinese, or whatever, just as long as I am happy. I am not gonna weigh my decision about what kind of woman I should date JUST BECAUSE black women feel a certain way when they see a black man with a white, latin, or asian woman. No way….
Simply Human,
Thank you! No one can say it better than that!
I’ve been victim to this “burn” that she speaks of. It’s sad in a nation where we’ve been through such turmoil, a man like myself can’t find “peace” inside his own relationship simply because my girlfriend isn’t black. We get it from both sides…whether it’s black women that see her by my side and immediately assume I hate black women or older Asian/Pacific Islander individuals that glance at me and wonder what’s this beautiful girl doing with darkie. What I find most repulsive is no one seems to say, “wow, they look so in love” or “wow, she glows when she grabs his arms with affection.” Instead they see our ethnic features and throw dozens of irrelevant reasons as to why we are together.
It seems only the asian/pacific islander girls in our age group smile or don’t mind us being together. It has actually brought me plenty female friends…but this treatment from Some black women is rather funny.
I understand black men who hate black women or black men who would only date a non black women, as to why I can see this “burn” Jill speaks of as justified. But, I hate no one. I just so happen to love my Filipina/Japanese beauty unconditionally. As silly as it sounds and many may not agree, racism doesn’t exist in white people looking down on blacks alone…the disdain I receive from my own background represents a similar level as depicted by their white counterparts. No they won’t lynch me but some black people have expressed the same hatred vocally as I would imagine someone white would. So before we judge the hatred of someone that’s non black towards us, we must first judge the hatred from within our own communities.
I completely understand. If you really love her that is fine. I don’t look down on black men for who they are with, but instead wonder why. If the couple looks really in love thats fine, but as I said it is hard to see a strong black man with someone that is not black because you have to wonder why someone successful that is your own race does not want you or other black women. Though there are good men out there that are black, the number is not really large (majority in jail, no high school degree etc.) so then we also lose black men to a white woman it hurts because we start to wonder if it is our fault (not taking into account that you just fell in love with someone without regards to their race).
I believe it is worse if we see a black man with a white woman. Interracial dating may not be as much of a problem internationally but racism in America is been so broadly spread by media that it is still seen in other countries such as in relation to you and your wife.
This is an unfortunate thing, but it is a real feeling. Its hard to put behind you racism when you still experience it on a daily basis. White people will always be ahead because they have wealth, they are not just rich. So its hard to just turn a blind eye when whites continue to be ahead no matter how hard a black person tries.
I admire your ability to express yourself without imposing a personal attack. In fact, this is one of the first topics with multiple responses where jabs aren’t being thrown left and right.
As for your position, I understand where you’re coming from because this topic of interest intrigued me when strangers began posing labels on me when I’m with a girl that didn’t have a similar skin tone as myself…”sell out,” “black woman hater,” etc. I had close female friends explain it isn’t solely based on me dating outside but I became another male of the statistic…college graduate, wall street bound, intelligent, goal oriented, does not possess any legal records of any kind, respectable, etc and instead of a black woman having a “shot” with me, here I am with someone else.
I empathize with the concern but by no means am I one of the individuals who ridicule black women as inferior beings, place other women at a higher pedestal over black women, etc. I ended up with my girlfriend because honestly, my school is heavily populated with Asian/Pacific Islanders (65% at least), Europeans (20%) and everyone else made up the rest generally. I haven’t been…I’ve never been that exposed to the Asian community to this degree and eventually had friends from all corners of the region. I didn’t “give” up on black women; I was exposed to other cultures than once before so my pool of companionship became more diversed.
So in other words, I didn’t look to have an Asian girlfriend only…it just so happens with the amount of interaction I held with different groups, my time was spent in their midst. You won’t believe the amount of people that assume I “hate” black women simply because they base their theories from adolescent minded black men on blogs dismantling the being of black women, lyrics from an artist that preach you’re a sellout if you’re with a black women, etc. I’m sorry but but as Jay-Z says, “what you eat don’t make me s***.” In other words, those guys have their reason, but I have mine. So I await the day instead of the sly comments while in public, someone would come directly to me and ask.
She needs a big hot piping cup of shut the fuck up.
In a future post-racst world this shit is gonna be so commonplace that it won’t merit discussing.
Black women have some nerve with this interracial shit when if it wasn’t for y’all – historically, the white race wouldn’t exist.
If it wasn’t for black women? I’m confused. Cuz last time I checked white people created this whole concept of race and racism.
The history of evolution.
In africa, once civilizations advanced so that women had right of refusal as to who their mates were – women preferentially selected the mutations – white people – or lighter skinned people. inselecting white or lighter skinned male to procreate with, they turned what was a minor maladaptive (to the equator) mutation into a full blown race.
They moved north because light skin is maladaptive @ the equator and they were outcompeted by their darker skinned brethren.
Black women chose and nurtured the white race to where it is today.
man get out of here with that nation of islam bs. white ppl arent mutants. aww man.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/12/15/AR2005121501728.html
from the article…..
Scientists Find A DNA Change That Accounts For White Skin
By Rick Weiss
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, December 16, 2005
Scientists said yesterday that they have discovered a tiny genetic mutation that largely explains the first appearance of white skin in humans tens of thousands of years ago, a finding that helps solve one of biology’s most enduring mysteries and illuminates one of humanity’s greatest sources of strife.
The work suggests that the skin-whitening mutation occurred by chance in a single individual after the first human exodus from Africa, when all people were brown-skinned. That person’s offspring apparently thrived as humans moved northward into what is now Europe, helping to give rise to the lightest of the world’s races.
LOL – is it still bs? and the record i find the nation of islam to be as much bullshit as you do.
the white race is a mutation, however, there is no disputing this.
@ greg, do you really know what you’re talking about?? the concepts of what we now know to be ‘black’ and ‘African’ didn’t exist 100-200 thousand years ago. Back then it was just a newly emerged set of human beings with no real acknowledge culture (yet). So your claims that modern ‘black’ women selectively chose ‘white’ is completely misinformed and plain stupid!! You cannot blame the reproductive choices of people thousands and thousands of years ago on modern day cultures!
You’re also forgetting that ‘white’ was one of the last groups of people to evolve! I suggests you go back and look at you’re map of the evolutionary tree. Also that only a select few of travellers branched out of Africa and populated what we now know to be the rest of the world. And the reason for any genetic mutation being a result of needing to adapt to the environment. Modern European culture came much much later and cannot be put down to “Black women chose and nurtured the white race to where it is today”. Your argument sounds very very misinformed!
if you read the article i linked to above, it supports my entire argument.
here it is again.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/12/15/AR2005121501728.html
my points remain: 1: white skin is a mutation 2: proliferance of such a mutation is dependent on mating preferences. the article supports it as follows:
The work raises a lot of new questions — not least of which is why white skin caught on so thoroughly in northern climes once it arose. Some scientists suggest that lighter skin offered a strong survival advantage for people who migrated out of Africa by boosting their levels of bone-strengthening vitamin D; others have posited that its novelty and showiness simply made it more attractive to those seeking mates.
the vitamin D argument is flawed because black people and white people metabolize vitamin D differently as relates to bone density. black people in northern climates are almost all vitamin D deficient but the rates of bone density loss are comparable with whites. There are other reasons why D deficiency harms black folk but it has more to do with cancer and heart disease – but in the wild where life expectancy was less than 30 anyway – that would not be an issue.
so then that leaves the second argument. my argument – selective mating for NO OTHER REASON.
by extension (my own extrapolation): once women were choosing mates – they preferentially chose the rarer/novelty white skinned individuals (males). this allowed a recessive mutation to proliferate.
the study and dozens others like it confirm the data – and are easily found in pubmed.
the fact is the entire existence and proliferation of the white race as we know it is dependent on selective mating. white skin, light eyes, and light hair are maladaptive until you leave tropical climates where they have an advantage over darker skinned individuals. even beyond the idea of being maladaptive – they are recessive – meaning a form of social genomics/eugenics occurred – and this happened before northern migration.
again, nothing I’ve posted can’t easily be verified with simple googling. I find it interesting that instead of googling and or looking through pubmed and google scholar – you’re more interested in spouting your uninitiated opinion. do some reading first and then i’ll be happy to discuss this with you.
the article i posted above mentions the doctors who ran the study. lookg them up in pubmed or google scholar and confirm their research for yourself.
in civilizations where women are choosing mates – women preferentially chose light/white skinned mates. there is no white race without the nurturing and preference of black women.
the final reason why it makes more sense that it’s black women rather than black men is this – the data shows that once the evolution began – the spread of the mutation happened rather quickly.
easy math – who can have more children in a year – a man or a woman? one child per woman year for a woman (excluding obvious cases of multiples – which were exceedingly rare in the wild) – but as many women as a man can inpregnate will give birth to his children. there is an exponential difference in the possibilities once one assumes that the ratios are one way rather than another.
throughout our history our greatest demons – those of african descent – has been ourselves. In this it is no different.
This is called Reverse Racism.
I don’t quite understand all of this. In the clip Jill said “I’m not against interracial love.” Someone else says “love is love.” Now, if those statements are true then why are you not giving couples a chance to prove love? It seems to me like this “wince” or “burn” comes at first sight. Do you automatically think that black men are only with other races because they don’t want a black woman? You have to get past this and understand that we are moving into a time when people are actually being looked at for the content of their character and not the color of their skin. You should rejoice. This is a joyful time in America, where we are finally given the chance to lay the horrible events that happened in the past to rest and move forward.
I agree. The feeling is something that comes without thought. But I do believe that these men have a choose at some point on whether to date a white woman or a black woman. This comes before you fall in love. You can put yourself in a position to date black women. Then if you have done this and you still fall for a white woman all the more to you. But if you don’t try then it makes you wonder what is “wrong” with the black woman. Why are you not interested to even consider dating her first.
okay i see what you are saying. there are people who choose not to date a certain race. no one can do anything about their choice. it is unfortunate.
I’m from London, UK and I can tell you categorically that over here inter-racial relationships are so not an issue. People do not pay lip service to them as seems to the case in the US. I find this fascination, borderline obsession with mixed race couples bizarre! As a black male, I have dated white, black and everything in-between. I really don’t understand people like Ms Scott who feel that they have to rationalise everything, especially something as unquantifiable as attraction, love etc … For me her column is a pseudo-intellectual attempt to say that she doesn’t particularly care for inter-racial relationships, yet I’m sure that Ms Scott was front and centre the night President Obama got elected. Might I remind people that President Obama is the product of a mixed race relationship, and how proud we are of him.
This topic really annoys me and in fairness if this was Ann Coulter writing an article critiquing inter-racial dating from the other perspective, there would be many of us (and rightly so) up in arms. I’m betting Ms Scott would be one of these voices! It’s 2010 people, lets get with the times!
” I can tell you categorically that over here inter-racial relationships are so not an issue”, are you sure about that?? Whilst inter-racial relationships may not be making national news, there are many writings from academics in Britain which addresses and theories the disproportionate amount of Afro-Caribbean men with white women.
I have to say i understand where jill is coming from. call me w/e but as an african american male if i see a beautiful black woman with a white man i stop for a second. HOWEVER, i feel like its none of my business to judge either one of them for their relationship or to be disgusted or feel anything negative about their choice of partner. WHY? Because its not my relationship. Ive come to understand that we as humans dont have the same preferences. I dont no their past maybe they’ve been hurt by those of opposite sexes within their race or maybe they simply admire one anothers physical beauty. Thats my take. I love all women no matter shape size color creed belief or w/e. But i myself prefer black women.
Straight bullsh*t. i am disappointed of her. And no, i dont want to understand where she is comin from. just because im black doesnt mean i have a say in what race black men should date/marry!! yea u have ur opinion in life and i respect that but if you’re talkin outta your ass what are you going to teach you kids in the future??? it’s actually takin a step back in society..so sad
Jill really opened something up. I just find it interesting that people limit their quest for love to a specific race. I understand you may have a preference or want to follow a norm and if that works for you, cool. But it bothers me when someone is single and looking for 2-3 years and can’t seem to find a good black man. There are good white/middle-eastern/asian/european/etc men who are looking for a good black woman to love.
If God can Love all his children, why can’t we? And why can’t we search for love in all his Children?
What if you aren’t attracted to other races. I can tell you now that if you put a black man, white man, Asian (Chinese/ Japanese, Taiwanese, etc.), Philippians, Mexican, of equal handsomeness and a body that is hot with a nice sized penis I would pick the black man. I have seen many good looking men of all of these races and can’t seem to be attracted to them. Plus as a black woman in America I would like to share my struggle with someone that understands because whether people know it or not blacks struggle (so do hispanics, asians, etc) but each a bit different, not less or worse, but different.
That’s just it. I find something truly attractive about a intellectual, strong, black male. (Thank GOD I have one)
And you have every right if given the some exact options being placed into ten different ethnic background males, for you to still choose a man of your own background. No one should dispute this claim. If I were given the choice of ten different women from all walks of the Earth; Asian, Pacific Islander, Black, Russian, Hispanic, White, etc…I would give each a chance because I want to be given the option of having an option. I view the world as such a vast and open area; different foods, different cultures, different languages, etc, I want to as well have the ability to date outside of my background as easy as it is to say, “Let’s try Sushi tonight” but last night you had Mexican and the night before that you ate at a French restaurant.
I definitely respect your decision and you should respect mine. If we would all possess this mutual level of respect and overcame this “whince” or “burn” or better yet, openly talked about race relations/interracial dating, these stereotypes/fears/levels of anger, etc wouldn’t exist in such a populated manner as they do today. But speaking of race is tough even amongst Black populations, so how can we even hope for a change to occur from our White, Hispanic or Asian counterparts with regards to us?
I don’t know why Jill & alot of black women hate that us as black men choose to date, marry, &/or have kids with women from other races. To me, interracial dating is a VERY beautiful thing. With us having a black president, it shows how much we have risen as a country, and overall, interracial dating brings us all together.
Black men don’t get upset when black women date outside their race, so why should they get upset when we do it. Don’t get me wrong, I date women from ALL nationalities & cultures, but I don’t want to singled to just one race, that isn’t fair to me.
I’ve heard the argument from black women…”but I bet if you saw a black women with a white/middle eastern/etc man, you would be posses too.”
Really? Why exactly would I care who you date? I don’t cringe, don’t frown, become upset or feel any form of Disdain for this. I actually smile and feel a bit of happiness when I see two individuals of different backgrounds together. So if it doesn’t bother me to say the the least, quite frankly, it shouldn’t bother my female counterparts. This life we have is unbelievably short. We are here today and gone in a flash…why spend it viewing life in such a warped perception? Why spend it with someone everyone expects you to because of ethnicity, when you can spend it with someone you want to? Why should a man or woman justify their happiness if the person of choice isn’t of their ethnic background?
It’s a beautiful thing when people do so for legitimate and moral reasons, like seeing beyond skin colour. But to say that everyone who chooses to date outside of their race does so for that reason is naive and just plain false. There are many men and women (of different races) that allow the old colonial attitudes of race and beauty to influence their perception of what is beautiful and worthy of their affection, which can consequently lead to SOME (and I stress some, not all) people preferring whiteness and being with a white person over someone of their own race. I find this very sad and worrying.
The historical positioning of black people in European society and especially black women has always been Derogatory and inferior to whiteness, ‘lesser than’, ‘inadequate’, ‘not as good as’; and this still exists today, you only have to browse through the latest fashion magazine, look at your local billboards, the lack of representation of black women on T.V to see how these attitudes are maintained in modern society. I think this is where the sourness of some people who oppose to inter-racial dating comes from. Also there’s the fact that the majority of black-white relationships are predominantly committed by Black men. Why is this?? Why is there a greater receptiveness of inter-racial relationships between white women and black men?? The hyper-sexualisation of the black male cannot be ignored, neither can the idealistic beauty image of the white woman. To excuse any historical context is, in my opinion, being too optimistic and a bit naive. Whilst we no longer live in colonial times, its history is still very much deep-rooted in our modern lives.
I think it’s important to say however, that some black people (not just women) let themselves down by making stereotypical assumptions that all inter-ration relationships are because for these reasons, the distinction needs to be made between those who selectively snub men and women of their own race (usually because of feelings of inadequacy or sexualised fantasies) and those who just love everybody…like myself.
And the reason you speak of is justifiable in the eyes of many but you, myself and many on here completely disagree with the reasoning some black men, white men or any man for that matter would utilize as why they don’t date women from within their ethnicity. For example, hearing a black man explain “I only date white women because black women have nappy hair” or “I could never date a black woman because she’s too angry.” Those are stigmas of our culture that have been perpetuated again and again in one medium or another (magazines, film, etc). To disown, denounce or ridicule an entire group for individualized reasons are beyond my realm of justifying so I won’t even indulge into why a man would utilizes such reasons but when someone becomes susceptible to things easily, you can brainwash them to think the Earth is rectangular in shape if you really wanted to.
But I’m not dismissing everything verbally, physically or emotionally that Blacks have been through for generations when I reference ones ability to overlook another being involved in interracial dating. The way I view things is quite simple. Our ancestors suffered severely by the hands of the ancestors of today’s white citizens. Some still possess an ounce of racism in one degree or another, but there are countless who wouldn’t dream of participating in anything slightly related to racism and individuals such as this shouldn’t be subjected to the faults of their ancestors. Should a black man/woman not be able to overlook what took place centuries ago and openly have the chance to see happiness in the present day bond between that of a black man/white woman or black woman/white man, etc? This question isn’t posed directly to your comment but more in a generalized manner.
History is there to be assessed and learned from; the more we remain entangled with the faults of yesterday, the stronger those bonds will remain tomorrow.
The president is equal parts Caucasian and African American making him biracial. He is not black.
I’m a black female and I could care less how or why black don’t date black women because if that’s the case I wasn’t supposed to be with him anyway.
I think what the issue is that while black men date any race under the sun the black women are left ‘alone’ on the strength that [a lot] men in other races aren’t attracted to black women. The majority of interracial relationships I’ve seen (I live in Atlanta, GA) are usually a black man with a woman of another race. I think that IF for every black woman that a black man didn’t date had another man, whatever race he may be, trying to scoop her up this would be less of an issue.
I understand and am happy you don’t have a disdain for irerracial dating but trust me on that position where you say men of other racial backgrouds are not attracted to black women. I’ve seen every man under the sun try to get my mother’s attention. I’ve seen men from all walks of the Earth try to “court” a bestfriend of mine that is Haitian/Cuban (she appears more Black than Cuban).
It may not be thrown in the public eye as white women being this fabricated “Holy Grail” beauty for black men has been perpetuating society for decades…but black women are definitely beautiful in the eyes of non Black men.
It was a general observation I made about the south. Attraction is one thing but I’ve seen way more black men marry white women than other men putting rings on black women’s fingers. Tis all.
I can understand your generalization, but attraction is one step in the road towards longevity of romance. I was attracted to my current girlfriend before our relationship came to be and we are now three years strong. Something must have happened along their path, as to why you don’t see much interracial relationships with Black women in your area.
In regards to interracial dating, Atlanta isn’t a wide enough pool to assess interracial dating statistics. In 2006, roughly 286K interracial marriages were between a black male and white woman. On the other hand, the number was about 117K for Black women with white males.
What’s funny though, which i just found out, for every 1,000 married Black women, 1,059 Black men would be married and for every 1,000 married Asian women, only 860 Asian men would be married. The figures show how disproportionate the marriages are within their own groups and since Asian women are more prone to marry outside of their “Race,” So Asian men are in the same category of competition for a mate with Asian women as Black women are statistically competing against White women for a Black men (marriage wise).
The south is a very small pool to make a generalization. With that being said interracial marriages in America are as follows:
Black and Whites Marriages: 2.65 times more likely that the husband will be Black
Black and Asian Marriages: 6.15 times more likely that the husband will be Black
And I think I got that information from the same site as you got your stats. The writer also deduces that: “…, African-American women have to compete with White women for African-American men, as the numbers above reveal.” It just is what it is.
Whether black men in interracial relationships genuinely love/prefer women of other races or they hate black women matters none because no matter what the reason is they won’t be dating a black woman; period. I am a black woman who has never dated out of my race and I don’t ever intend to. I have had no problems dating which is probably why I could care less about this issue. Women waste time dwelling on things they cannot change instead of focusing on what’s really important.
lol, people still cant look past race. pathetic.
Some people move forward but don’t forget, some people are stuck in that mental state of hate that burns deep and never goes away. I think if we can’t learn to move foward then we are actually moving backwards…which makes the whole No Interracial Dating thing look like Segregation.
The funny thing is, I completely agree with your position but people will always find justifiable means to make their ideals noteworthy. For example, “we suffered severely in slavery and to see the glorification of White women by black men makes me angry.” Just because he’s with a White woman doesn’t mean he’s the typical “negro hating” Black man. Just because he’s dating a White woman, Asian woman, Indian woman or non Black woman doesn’t mean he overlooks/doesn’t care Black men were the sexual fantasies during slavery where lust existed between the slave masters daughter and the slave male working in the fields.
Just because his girlfriend isn’t Black doesn’t mean he doesn’t understand the struggle ancestors went through. If anything, the ability to openly have interracial relationships without ending up lynched tomorrow is huge. It shows we have slightly progressed as a group and given this opportunity our fore fathers fought and died for (equal opportunity), why shouldn’t there be equal opportunity with whom we choose to date without people being up in arm’s about slavery? Isn’t this what we wanted to get away from? The ill wills of slavery?
Jill Scott is nothing more than a bigot with profound identity and self confidence issues…
just sayin.
i agree
Jill u just lost a fan
BECAUSE BLACK MEN DOWN THERE RACE 2 JUSTIFY DATING OUTSIDE THERE RACE!!!!!! EXAMPLE…I DATE ONLY WHITE WOMEN BECAUSE BLACK WOMEN HAVE TOO MUCH ATTITUDE!!!!! WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT, STOP HAVING SELF-HATE!!!!!!! LOVE YOUR DARK SKIN BLACK MEN…..
what does skin color have to do with attitude again?
one reason why black men go for white women and women of other racist are because black women always wants a light skin man ohh give me a light skin dude with some good hair.. das exactly why so we will date white women and women of other race we dont got time we rather be with someone who apriciated our skincolor and hair
Sometimes I wish we were all blind….then what? High pitched voice people against the low pitched voice people….get over it already….DAMN!
i agree.
Dear Jill Scott,
As the product of an interracial marriage and thus a bi-racial person, I am going to openly tell Jill Scott to fuck off.
Sincerely, a former fan,
Kevin
I can definitely empathize/agree with your position so I want to go further with my thought. President Obama is highly praised by the Black community because he’s our first Black president…As everyone knows here, Barack Obama is White/Black; not just Black, but White/Black.
How come he’s featured on covers of Black magazines and portrayed as the epitome of a Black man when you boil it down, he’s the product of a Black parent and a White parent? Is it because his wife Michelle is Black? Does his “interracial-ness” get a pass because his wife is Black? People truly and utterly disgust me with their train of thought.
So my question is to said individuals who feel this way, since you feel this sternly about interracial dating as Jill mentioned above with this “burn” or “whince” inside, do you still view Obama the same or well his parents?
I am a white woman who predominantly dates black men. I have never dated a white man. I don’t know why, but I have always been naturally physically attracted to men with a darker skin color than mine (asian/hispanic/but mostly african american). When I read the article Jill Scott wrote it slightly hurt my feelings and gave me a “burn”. I tried to understand, but will never fully simply because she is coming from a different place than I am. As a white woman dating black men I often have people pre-judge me and even make ignorant comments towards me. I ignore people on most occasions, but it does hurt. When I read the article it made me feel that as a white woman I am not good enough to date a black men, that a black woman would be able to give black man much more than I ever could. However, I am a unique amazing individual who has much to offer any man of any race, and I will continue to try to understand this “burn”, but it also hurts when people vocalize their disapproval of my dating decisions.
Don’t ever feel like this. I am a black female that has some of the same feelings as Jill Scott. But I have them towards the men who chose white women because they think black women aren’t good enough in their eyes. Not because they happened to be attracted to you for you, but that they see black women as difficult and white women as easy. Not all black men are like this so i can’t say this is for all of them, but the feelings put towards you from black females are a sense of jealousy.
No offense, black women have had to work hard to get what we have in America so its sort of a feeling of something that belongs to us is being taken away. But i do not disapprove of your dating choice. Girl, do you. If you want a black man do it. I am not going to say that black women will not look at you funny, but just ignore em. Life goes on. Don’t worry about it.
As JJLove has mentioned, do not allow the insecurities of another deter you in anyway. Who you choose to date is between you, God and that individual. You should not have to stand on trial here justifying the very reason your boyfriend/husband is the darkest shade of black on Planet Earth or the palest skin tone known to man. Ma’am, I’ve been in your very shoes and perhaps I’ve known the faults of others and their judgmental ways so dearly, their words/gawking eyes and sighs don’t affect me at all. The woman on my arm, once individuals at my former office found out, “So she does everything you tell her to?” Or my favorite, “you couldn’t handle a strong minded Black woman so you went and got yourself a submissive Chinese girl?” When they say this, I usually think: First off , she’s Filipino/Japanese…not Chinese. Secondly, you’ve more than likely never held a conversation with someone Asian/Pacific Islander except at your local Chinese restaurant to place an order. You know nothing about these individuals besides stereotypes you hear, so tell me something Ms coworkers, what separates you from the White man in Alabama who saw on the nightly news, a Black man robbing a liquor store, who then feels all Black people are thieves? At the end of the day, not a darn thing except your darker skin tone, which you use to justify your ability to say/act and think.
So like JJLove has stated, ignore them. Or do what I do with my girlfriend and make light of the matter by secretly pointing out and counting the amount of people who still think it’s 1885 while in public that show their thoughts of you dating a man with a darker skin tone than you. Just always remember it’s you he’s going home with and it’s you he makes happy so no amount of ill will from strangers can take that away. My girlfriend had a difficult time in the beginning because some black women were very vocal with their feelings…some blatantly pointed. Thing is, we are so divided as a people, they couldn’t even take a minute to see this is how Whites treated us with the vicious comments and yet here they’re today pointing and verbally expressing negative thoughts because I’m in love with a non Black woman. Master sure did a great job at dividing us because here we are today, conducting his job he no longer needs to enforce.
Such a sad state of life we live in.
Jjlove06
What honesty! Love it! That’s my exact same sentiments!
^ Don’t let a pathetic piece of shit like Jill Scott bring you down. Keep doing you and ignore the ignorance displayed by those who judge you for something that has nothing to do with them. Their lives are lacking so they project their dissatisfaction with themselves onto others.
Just be you.
“Their lives are lacking so they project their dissatisfaction with themselves onto others.”
Those words couldn’t be any more factual, even though it’s your opinion. I view similar situations like this when the friend of your girlfriend who happens to be single and definitely lonely, feeds your head with “Girl, he’s cheating” or “you can do better,” when in fact you’re the most faithful man alive and even the girl’s mother knows you couldn’t do any better than the great catch your partner is. Yet here goes your lonely and underappreciated friend trying to transfer her inner emotions onto you in order for your happiness to diminish until you’ve entered the same state of being she’s in. Misery surely loves company and I’m not saying every single Black woman is jealous when they see a Black man with a White woman, but your idea holds merit for many of them.
People can’t stand to see someone else happy when their happiness comes in the form of something that shouldn’t bring them happiness. They view it as, “what makes her so special that he had to leave Black women?” Why think like this? Why not try for a moment assume he is with her just because? Would it make you happier that you instead saw him at the theater with a Black woman on his side? What about if at home he beats the living crap out of her? But that wouldn’t matter because at least he’s with a Black woman, right? You publically see him with a woman he’s “supposed” to be with but in private she’s treated as a second rate citizen. From experience, I know in many Asian households, the husband openly cheats on the wife, treats her as inferior, she must be submissive to him culturally but in their eyes, I’m not worthy to date a Pacific Islander/Asian woman, but this turd can simply because he’s Asian? Really? So negate how horrible he treats her in private…negate it all, because as long as he’s the same ethnic background, he holds the right to be with her.
I’m sorry but that’s just idiotic and simple minded thinking.
FUCK YOU JILL SCOTT. RACIST TRASH
what iz she talking black woman are left out in the cold gtfoh im a black man and i know how yall black woman act bitch please!!!
if he wasnt a athelete would she care? thats whats wrong with black woman IMO always trying be with someone thats famous like entertainers or atheletes or already sucessful when thats less than 1percent of the black male population stick with your man when hes struggling tryin to suceed like women of other raced do thats why they reap the benefits church!!
WOW…
this really explains ALOT of the issues
This does make sense and goes to show that most black women are just greedy and lazy.
I would do that and I did that because I knew he was on the track to be successfull, but if I see you are just doing nothing with your life and not just in a period of struggling then I am not going to be with you. There is a complete difference and there are many many that are doing nothing and don’t plan on it. The only sad thing is that it is hard to tell a person that is doing nothing or just having hard times without talking to them and actually trying to get to know a person. And for some dumb reason most people don’t do it.
my sons mom is italian, her ass was bigger than alot of black girls i know…so they hated that LMAO!!
now my son is a lil barack. and fuck what the world thinks, my son will be STRAIGHT!
its crazy cause, the area i live in (suburban philly), most of the lil boys/girls are mixed. its like the thing to do now (i just liked the way my sons mom looked). these kids go crazy when they find out a boy/girl is mixed!
in a curiously fascinated way.
with obama in office and the way race relations are shaping (interracial relationships) and black men just being….the best (ok that was a cheap shot lol), expect the world to be alot more mixed up.
She says that she is not against love but it seems as though she is only for a love that she approved of. Screw the attitude that sharing culture diminishes roots. Inter-racial dating should not be discussed as an issue… keep with the times moron.
It seem like everyone is taking Jill’s OPINION out of porpotion. You guys are failing to realize this it’s just that, her OPINION which alot of PEOPLE male/female agrees with. You will never fully understand one’s OPINION if you’re not able to actually converse with that person and possibly hear the reason they’ve come to the decision they have. We all have been raised in different communities. So, the reason some may feel the way they feel you can never understand because you’ve never been there. I’m from New Orleans, where it is pridominately Black and it’s very rare to see an inter-racial couple. I now reside in L.A/Hollywood where literally I’ve seen maybe 1 or two BLACK couples out of the 4 years I’ve been here. It’s very different for me. I don’t have a problem with it, but at the same time it’s been very hard to date PERIOD here. I’m educated, beautiful, successful, not looking for a man to take care of me, very laid back, loving, don’t let much bother me, etc. So, I can king of UNDERSTAND where Jill is coming from and so can many others I’ve had conversations with. I don’t see the reason for calling Jill all of these names or whatever because she chose to express her OPINION like most of you are doing at this very moment. It’s just a personal feeling that has nothing to do with anyone else. It does not mean that she is racist or stuck back in time. Some of us all we know is our Black men (like I said if you’re from where I’m from, you have no choice..lol). For many years that’s all I knew. Actually, I still haven’t dated outside of my race. But, living here if I find myself attracted to someone maybe I will. I’m open minded. At the same time I can understand Jill’s OPINION.
Question, why has it been difficult for you to date?
I have no idea…It seems the guys here are only interested in a the same type of females out here. And I’m definiately like everyone else. I’m not a reality start type, not and actress, model, etc. You know it’s “Hollywood”.lol. By the way, this reply has nothing to do with the first one. I ONLY have problems dating someone decent here.
I definitely understand the ideal girl theory in Hollywood…but where do you interact socially once work is over? I’m finding it still difficult why an attractive woman would not be able to date whatsoever. What kind of men are you attracted to?
@YBF: i live in long beach, but i party a lot in hollywood and have many friends who live out there. i understand what you mean because i have some latin girlfriends who date football players and successful black men, but at the same time i have black girlfriends who are doing the same thing, but it doesn mean they always last. the guys here are about looks but looks doesnt keep the man, the personality does. so although you say you’ve only seen about two black couples, ive seen a lot more maybe you aren’t just really looking. just hold your head up, hollywoods the kinda city who will suck you in and spit you out, you just have to find the guys worth it all no matter what the color be.
^^^ Jill Scott’s opinion is a window into the racism she harbors. Through her opinion, we see what lies inside and it’s an ugly thing. Just calling it like it is.
@Gwapo cool, I respect your OPINION. But, just because topics are formed with mentions of different races doesn’t make the person a racist in my OPINION.
I agree. I do not believe that Jill Scott is racist.
If she wasn’t racist I don’t think she would feel any kind of “burn” whenever she saw a black man with a white woman. For me, the “burn” is proof of her racist mindset
@Slim Somethings you will NEVER understand. This may be one of those things.
If you can’t read the writing on that wall, you should get your mind’s eye checked.
I am hearing word of a Tyler Perry BOYCOTT after all this….
/former Jill Scott fan
//cannot stress “former” enough
@Gwapo lol
Young Black Female, would you like to go out on a date with me?
@ TreyPound lol……cute!
I think this is probably where the breakdown is…… I wasn’t joking
@ TreyPound What breakdown? Surely, you can’t expect me to say yes. This is not a proper way to ask for a date. Especially when I know NOTHING about you. I lol because I thought it was a cute gesture. So, I’m confused about this breakdown you speak of.
Where da white women at?
Jill is just mad cause no successful black man would want to spend their life with some half assed poet that always has something to complain about. I’m sure life with her would be nothing short of agonizing…
LOLs!
Jill’s point was missed completely…Bi-racial and other ppl: before you burn your Jill Scott CDs…take a ride in the shoes of a black woman in America.
Let’s start with the media…White women are the standard of beauty according to America ESP. the blond/blue eye, size 0s. Now when you see that on T.V., magazines, billboards, other media outlets….it becomes psychological that this is what you’re supposed to look like in order to qualify as beautiful….or at least close to it like other non-black women. So imagine how it feels to know that you aren’t society’s favorite although you pay taxes, abide the law, etc. Someone mentioned that their Italian woman has a fat a$$…do you know that black woman come naturally with the round derrier and was considered fat but it wasn’t until J.Lo, K.Kardashian that it is now the standard to have one or pay for one. Ironically, I feel like J.Lo opened the doors for Beyonce to flaunt this.
Now we can argue all day that we should love ourselves, confidence is key, you catch more bees with honey and all of the other attributes that makes a woman (and man) attractive but when your own men feel the same as Willie Lynch, it makes it a bit difficult to keep your head up and smile without feeling that you’ll never be anything else other than a black man’s baby mama or if you’re lucky his girlfriend without side pieces. So when you see a black man who has it together and shares it with an “outsider” it hurts because the ONLY way the black community is going to Evolve is if we become INvolved.
Nothing is wrong with interracial dating but I’m (and I’m sure Jill is too) looking at it from a standpoint of the community. THere are waaay more single black women than I liked to admit, including me and seems that all we have left are the hapless, insecure, lack of ambition men left since “no one else” wants them. The feces of society. I’ve dated outside of my race and it was cool but when it comes to marriage, children (community) I would as my Favorite Rolling Stones song…Paint it Black. But with the way things are going, I see that the black commmunity will become extinct in the next 20 years. We would rather support the outside than in. Black man feeling like black women arent’ good enough yet they came from them which is something I’ll NEVER understand
Regardless of whether you agree with me or not…IT’S A SERIOUS ISSUE. I’m single, hardworking, ambitious and it hurts me all the time to know that I will never be able to carry on my glory to the next because my own men don’t want me. So that’s where the STING comes from. White ppl have a community, Latins have a community, Asians, etc but blacks don’t care anymore. You want to celebrate love but how can you when it doesn’t exist in your own HOME (black community).
Does this make sense?
It does make sense. I’ll proffer my humble opinion however as a black male.
do you know who anais nin is? one of my favorite quotes in the world is from her: peep game —->
“I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding.” -Anais Nin
My contention is that, through my observation during relationships and seeing others – is that both black men AND black women in general have no fucking clue about the most effective power dynamics in relationships – myself included. Black women have a chip on their shoulder about relationships and seem to think in general that it’s all our fault – and black men then either overcompensate or avoid the pressure altogether by going to other races.
my humble $0.02 is that women of other races embody that quote above better than black women – they know when and how to submit – and don’t consider it a bad thing that makes them look inferior. Men want their women to be a safe haven – not a battleground. I don’t want to fight the wars of the entire race dynamics of our entire history with you – I just want dinner with you and to feel on your booty and feel like you would do anything for me without question – cuz in theory i would both kill and die for you under those circumstances.
everything you do with black women at times is about saving the race rather than just going to costco – or rollerblading in the park.
it’s both of our faults – black men don’t know how to be black men because we had no blueprints – we are inventing the modern black man right now – it’s an experiment – a work in progress. and black women in general don’t know how to be with a black man because they’ve never seen a really successful black relationship so they don’t have a blueprint either.
man this is 100% on point.
enough said.
i guess i have to say “in my opinion”
OKay now we’re getting somewhere…
I totally agree with you on the submission part where I have seen my sisters act “superior” to their men, I guess out of being upset at their own non-existent male image in their life….but what about the others like me how have had /have that blueprint of a successful relationship? My mom took care of my dad and my dad made SURE that we got what we needed.
My older brother carried this very legacy onto his family with the support of a loving wife who had a blueprint also. But also my brother/sister-in-law is from another generation so maybe that’s it. You’re right though…everyone is not holding their end of the deal and that’s where the problem lies.
Never heard of Anais Nin but I will research her…Thx
it’s a tough situation – cuz you’re the exception rather than the rule.
dealing with anybody not at that level of emotional development is backsliding for you – but people like you in the black community are few and far between.
the first successful black relationship i’ve ever seen was my mentor – and by then i was in college. that’s six years ago – you see what i mean?
what i have six years of partial experience with you’ve seen your entire life so often that it’s nothing to you.
i’d be having dinner @ his house and he’d be like “you’re staring” – and it was like, “I’ve never seen anything like this before.” I might have well have been on mars. Keen sorrow is realizing belatedly what you’ve never known that you should have known your entire life.
black women have to be willing to accept that some of it is gonna be trial and error and still BE DOWN.
these white broads out here are not playing – they are hunting brothers down and locking us up – I stay reggie bush-ing (as in shaking them like on the football field – not wifing them up) these white broads. They are sharks – they submit readily but are goal oriented – they whip that Becky game on you and get you making decisions with your dick rather than your head. next thing you know a nigga meeting the parents next thing you know – dad is setting up a meeting – you get promoted. oh shit – you’re in too deep now.
I’m saying – so I’ve heard that’s how stuff like this happens. : – D
I’m ready to ride with a black woman – in fact I accept it will be harder but I’ll deal with that. I just want her to assume success rather than failure. To go forward as if her insecurity and pessimism DID NOT EXIST. That is a keeper IMO.
I take this as a compliment….but I’m too selfless not to be concerned with my sisters because their actions will affect me i.e. damaging the brother that HAS that blueprint….Although, if he’s strong like me he will see this as just another issue within that individual but at the same time is confident that there’s someone out there in his community that shares the same sentiment of love, companionship….I’m not giving up and I stay evolving for my own personal change because it takes two ya know.
BTW, Anais Nin is A-MAZING! I think I’m going to pick up one of her books if I can find them.
“Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country. ” – Anais Nin
wow! Your so right. though I guess I got the advantage I’m one of those black girls that act like a white girl. So people tell me (although I’m still single so go figure).
Your definitely on to something there (in my opinion).
Brina-
This perception that you have about the black community is brought on by an insecurity inside yourself. Don’t spend so much time worried about what the media perceives as beautiful- you will forever be comparing yourself and never fully love yourself for who you are.
Most men out there just want a woman who is comfortable in their own skin and is eager to please their man.
Knowing how to cook also goes a loooooooong way.
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Truest words ever spoken!
It’s not that I don’t how to do this…don’t get me wrong.
I would love to hand over the steering wheel someday but i need to make sure I agree with his direction, ya know
Tired of this shit!
Just wanted to say EAT A DICK JILL SCOTT and PASS THE WHITE WOMEN PLEASE
When we are able to get to the position as a group to willingly discuss race relations and openly view the differences of opinion, respect those differences and begin to view beyond the physical properties of an individual…we will forever be in the position of some Black women having this “burn” internally and Black men flocking in high totals, to the arms of a woman who looks nothing like his mother.
We remain so reluctant to view the present and the future, we are orever bound to instill the past issues as the only waynof thinking. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery; but today is a blessing. When will we begin viewing life as a blessing as opposed to constantly living in history and guessing the mysteries of tomorrow?
When will we strip the physical qualities of someone; long curlynor straight hair, peach skin tone versus mocha, straight versus a more broad/flat nose? These qualities shouldn’t depict my heart’s direction in finding my life partner. These concerns shouldn’t depict whether you have sold out your mother in the process if your wife looks nothing like her. The day my girlfriend and I wed, have children and begin the parenting process…our children will love both my mother and their mother. They’ll learn my history as well as hers.
also fat.
We all know what the kids turn out like when siblings have children.
Doesnt science tell us that it is better for people to mix.
Besides, if ppl mix, then in the future racism wont exist. Because everyone will be from a mix background.
She is another angry, bitter bw thats all.If she saw a wm with a bw would she feel the same way noooooooooo.Bw think it is ok for them to date out but when a bm does it he hates his race his mother his sister you know garbage like that they say.I go to wesites and read the same old things from bw the bm love ww and hate, and are there any bm who still like bw in this country it is ridiculous.There is a double standard with bw if a bw meets a wm it is for love also they have so much in common.Now when a bm dates a ww it is because she is white, and he wants her money or he hates his color lol.It is rare to see a wm/bw relationship in america or europe but what can you do but, just worry about your life and not other people’s life.
Jill you must worry about your life because no matter how hurt you feel nothing is going to change what people like.You must have issues you need to work on, also i hear people say this ir thing is not that much of a big deal over in the uk.When people saw what she said on national tv i said to myself alot of people don’t like her anymore especially biracial people they all see her as another racist bw sad but true.
shit, when it’s not about politics, some of you actually bring intelligence to the table. i am floored
What just pisses me off about articles like this is how they completely discount black women being with white men. And it is not a new…and it’s not “black women running out of black men” thing either…so don’t even try it.
You can go all the way back to Dorothy Dandringe, Diana Ross, Eartha Kitt, Diane Carroll, Lena Horne, Naomi Campbell, Donna Summer,Leslie Ugums, Tina Turner to name a few…to the present Iman, Halle Berry, Beverly Johnson, Janet Jackson, Sade, Robin Givens,Eve, Venus Williams, Whoppie Goldberg, Alice Walker, Alfre Woodard,Chaka Khan…..
I’m not saying the percentage of blackmen/white women isn’t higher in terms of interracial dating, because it is, although television commercials and movies would have one believing otherwise, there are enough black women going out with white men to make these comments pretty hypocritical.
My wife is white. I didn’t marry because she is white…or because I hate black women. In fact, I love women period. I was a equal opportunity lover. If things came down differently I could have just as easily married the dark skinned sister from Buffalo or even an even darker skinned beauty from the Virgin Isles…both of whom I was in love with…both broke my heart…but those situations are not an indictment on ALL black women. That is just the way things came down.
I can’t speak for all brothers who date white women or how they come to terms with the racial dynamics of Amerikka. But I do know there are some Black brothers—AND SISTERS—that I have encountered that have completely ruled out BLACK as a possiblity in their romantic relationships. Which I think is sad on many levels. Also, I do know that there are some black sisters out there that believe that speaking in degrading ways to black men is “being black” or ‘keeping it real”. Which also think is sad on many levels.
We always want to deal with racism on the onside in. I think we (African Americans)need to examine race more from the inside out. We need to look how internalized racism affects how we see other. How we act and react to each other.
I NEVER had sisters from Africa, the Carribean or white women who I’ve known tell that I am ‘too black”…or say I have ‘bad’ hair…let known refer to black people as ‘niggers” or ‘niggaz”(if you prefer that type of spin)…I’m sure there are exceptions to the rule for Americanized Africans out there…but as a rule that kind of stuff comes only from us African Americans…
My sone goes to a predominantly white school and therefore, is no attracted to white girls. Because of where we live, those are his options. I can only expect that when he grows up, the he will prefer (for lack of better terms) white girls. At this point (with all the homosexuality going on), I’ll just be happy that he’s with a woman, dam the race.
I’m tired of seeing black men with white girls….WHAT is the attraction to someone who can NEVER understand the depth of us as black people.I’m just sad watching these white women toting around mixed kids like the next hot hand bag..sick!!…hurt? Hell yes hurt…I’m hurt our black men call us mouthyand hard to deal with..NOT ALL OF US! I encourage u to look a little longer before selling yourself and the next generation short..our black mixed children r being raised by white women who teach them what they perceive is black..now we will have a white generation wit browned skin…sad:( why? It makes me cringe hearing white people act “down” talk the way they think we sound..admire fine..but be urself damn.I realize there will bsometimes two people will just fall for eachother but these white women are out HUNTING chck em out it can be any black skin walk by they heads turn..groupie mentality..what a mess..I personally am turned off by brothers that mess with em..they seem weak and impatient to me…we need to be better peopleand stronger with our morals…(to the brothers tht white wash)stop giving them what belong to us…I wouldn’t do that to u my beautiful black brothers..most sistas won’t..no matter as a whole u perceive us we ALWAYS been for u
I feel you girl…like I said earlier….there’s waaay too many single sistas including myself. I too am turned off by blk men who mess with them because it says alot about their character which to me seems like they either have Bad/no character. I love blk men but I know for a fact that I will be single forever because they don’t love us and although I see beauty in every race, I’m attracted to them to want to step out. That’s what I get for being loyal, right?….I envy other races, at least MOST of their men are true to their culture.
that should read *not* attracted to them
Blk Men not “true to their culture”?? Shut up and go fry or put that weave in your hair.. Don’t act like you ‘strong soul-sistas’ aren’t running around town lying on your backs for white men.. You WILL be single, lonely and bitter NOT because of your skin or every man being flawed — BUT YOUR UGLY PERSONALITY AND HATEFUL SPIRIT
@natural sista
Alot of you black women talk bad about black men then you expect them to continue to want you lol.That is a no no you need to change how you act because it is not getting you anywhere,and it’s just making black men date out more and more.You black women date white guys but want black men to stop dating white girls or whatever else well thats not going to happen lol.Jill needs to speak on black women that date white guys if she cannot do that then we know she is fill in the blank ______ .
I don’t know why people are painting it as if Jill was condemning interracial dating. It sounds to me that she was simply admitting (not proudly) why it still hurts BW when they see BM with WW.. Well said, props to her for having the courage and strength to admit black women’s insecurities — what she and other BW fail to realize it that ALL RACES HAVE THESE INSECURITIES..
Do you think us black men don’t feel “the wince” to see ALL of our beautiful BW in the media (Halle, Zoe Saldana, Sanaa Lathan, Paula Patton, Stacey Dash etc.) with WM? My white friends (all of which date BW) admit to feeling the “the wince” when they see pretty WW with BM as well.. Its about personal insecurity NO MATTER WHAT RACE YOU ARE.
The only difference is that BW have the LUXURY of scape-goating ALL of their PERSONAL issues on their male counterparts.. BW obnoxiously preach about their independence and strength — yet uses the “well, black men do this… well, black men do that..” defense EVERY TIME. White, Asian, and Hispanic women do not have this luxury of not being responsible for your own character traits and emotions..
Pretty American black women are so BOOSHIE and stuck-up they will date ANY white guy, but only date a black man if he is an Athlete or Entertainer or has some social status.. Black woman straighten, dye and put weave in their hair, then get mad when BM are attracted to WW and “sellout”.. Only to high-five and applaud BW who sleep with WM do to pathetically ignorant hypocrisy and vengeful bitterness..
PEOPLE OF ALL RACES FEEL THIS “WINCE.” Its a personal issue about a lack of confidence in the way the opposite sex of your race views you. Why do BW need an excuse for it like with everything else? The “wince” is personal insecurity, a weak-minded character FLAW yet BW claim entitlement to it. They carry around this bitterness and hate (by choice) and wonder why black men don’t want them “must be the man’s fault”..
BW don’t realize THE WORLD (especially men) DOESN’T CARE wither your PERSONAL bitterness and insecurities are justified or not.. Wake up sistas. What real, honest, dignified, self-respecting, quality man OF ANY COLOR WOULD WANT AN INSECURE, SPITEFUL, BITTER, EXCUSE-MAKING WOMEN???
NOT ALL BLACK WOMEN!
PICTURES——of Black men that date outside their race
Check out these pictures
http://www.afieldnegro.com
What race are we should not matter……What race are we?????
White , Black, Hispanic, Asian. ETC….
The best thing Morris Chestnut ever said was to a group of kids…What race are you???? The young man says I’m black….Then he was corrected….No! We are the Human Race…none other..
My son is bi racial, I pray for him, an the things we have endured from not only having a mom and dad of different cultures, but he’s been scrutinized by both cultrures…. People it’s a new era, and I do not see color, never have. That is why people of differnt cultures marry, date, and stay together…They do not see color…