I don’t think it’s a good idea, but I wouldn’t say that it’s exactly ‘selfish’, since then you can say anyone who wants a child, any age is selfish too. People usually have kids because they ‘desire’, ‘want the experience of being a parent’, ‘want to love a child, vice versa’, so it can all be considered selfish and human nature.
What about people who are poor and can’t afford kids but keep having them? I think this is a much bigger problem in many countries around the world, yet no one says they are selfish for not thinking of their children’s future or whether they can even feed them. I think most people who are over 50 and having a child are going to be more wealthy (cause IVF is expensive, etc), more educated, and possibly have more patience, life experience, and maybe better parents than very young parents who keep having kids without thinking it through. There are too many ‘accident’ pregnancies and many troubled children, abused, neglected, etc. most with younger parents. The over 50 parent would be a minority and most likely have prepared for the future and maybe have enough money to leave the child if they happened to become ill or die. I’m not saying it’s the best idea, but I would not call them selfish. I think it’s way more selfish for people who just have kids ‘just because’ then don’t take care of them and they don’t ever contribute anything positive to society.

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That’s unfortunate about your brother, but I don’t think 38 is really ‘too old’ to have a child. It’s much more common than you think. I work with special Ed kids, and most the ones with neurological disorders, autism, or even Down’s, all have mothers under 30. There are many women I know personally and professionally that have kids late 30s, even early 40s now and their kids are completely healthy. Many times these disorders are genetically linked, nothing to do with age. Of course, over 35 there is always a higher risk of some abnormalities, but much of that research is not current, and I’ve attended seminars where new research shows that the real serious risks aren’t until the women is over 43. So many women are having very healthy babies in the 35-40 age group, since they are delaying marriage due to careers, etc. I have friends who went to medical school and by the time they finished their residencies, they were at least 30, and not all had the time to develop a long term serious relationship until mid 30s. Also if they did a specialty, the training is even longer. So some women do want a family but just haven’t had the time, since they are pursuing their passions, and being ‘all they can be’ as they were instilled upon when they were kids. Why should only men be the ones who can pursue a career/passion that can take years? It sucks that women have a shorter biological clock. But research also shows that older men can have abnormalities in their sperm. Men usually don’t get criticized for being over 40, 50, and becoming a father for the first time.
Also what if a woman just didn’t find the right guy before age 35? There are many bad relationships and it’s not easy to find the right person. Not all women want to settle and end up divorced, or a bad marriage just to have kids before a certain age. Kids growing up in a negative, violent or simply unhappy marriage (even if parents fight behind closed doors, it can show in their demeanor and attitude), can develop into troubled adults or other issues, vs. a happy mother who had a child late 30s, even 40s.

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